


I Want to Help, If You Would Let Me

by Alphawulf



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, also, also im projecting just a little don't mind me, bc ofc i write a fic with that, but its in there so like be wary yall, its vague, kiiinda, not yet at least, steven wants to help but he doesn't Get it, that's connie, you know the thing where ur a gifted child and then when ur older u get all depressed?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 10:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21390919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alphawulf/pseuds/Alphawulf
Summary: She has been noticeably subdued all day, and while that might not warrant such concern (everyone has their off days, after all), she hasn’t seemed herself for over a week now. Her texts seem less excited, their chats over phone quieter and shorter.There are bags under her eyes, and he worries about her.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, with a bit of '/' on Steven's end
Comments: 12
Kudos: 55
Collections: Steven Universe Completed Recommended Reads





	I Want to Help, If You Would Let Me

**Author's Note:**

> There have been a bunch of sad fics about Steven - mostly due to the corrupted theory (which I may or may not contribute to in the future) - but I wanted to let Connie be the one in need of help, here.

“Connie?”

“Hm?”

“Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah.”

Steven finds himself frowning a little, glancing at his friend. They're both on his bed - her, laying on her stomach, head cushioned by her right arm - him, sitting upright at the head of the bed, ukulele forgotten in his hands. 

She has been noticeably subdued all day, and while that might not warrant such concern (everyone has their off days, after all), she hasn’t seemed herself for over a week now. Her texts seem less excited, their chats over phone quieter and shorter.

There are bags under her eyes, and he worries about her.

“Okay, let me rephrase…” He says, steeling himself slightly, sitting up just a bit straighter, “you don’t seem okay. And it’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m here for you if you do want to talk."

She laughs a little, which would be a small success if it didn’t sound so hollow, pulling at Steven’s heartstrings. “You know me too well. I can’t keep anything from you.”

Her face turns so she can look at him, and he offers her a small smile, not bothering to hide his concern. She sighs, and her gaze drops.

“It’s. A few things really. Mostly… I bombed a test last week.” It’s said quietly, as if somehow she would be overheard. Steven stays quiet, letting her gather her thoughts as she chooses how to continue.

“I haven’t told my parents yet - they’ve asked, and I lied and told them the teacher was still grading it. I know they’ll be upset when they learn how bad I did - and for lying to them, too.” Then, a bit quieter, as if she didn’t even mean to speak it aloud, “I’m supposed to be _ good _at school.”

“Woah woah, hold the phone. Now, give the phone to me,” his hand is out, placed on the covers near Connie’s face, and he can see her eyes settle to look at it. “It’s never a good thing to think in terms of ‘should’,” he starts, “that only leads to bad things. And it’s okay if you can’t do something, you j-”

“But it’s _ not _ okay, _ ” _ she insists, and Steven, startled by the interruption, loses his train of thought. “School is what I’m good at! I’m a straight A student, but now! Now I won’t be! This test is a _ huge _ part of my grade, it’s gonna pull my grade down to a B, at the _very_ least!” If Steven wasn’t so in tune with her, he may not have noticed the trembling of her left arm as she vaguely gestures, or the tightness of her voice, how tense she is.

Slowly, he moves his hand to rest lightly on hers, and she lets her arm fall to the bed, a bit of the fight leaving her, though still visibly upset. 

“It will be okay,” he says, softly, “maybe not right away, but it will be at some point. I know it can be scary - when you have to tell someone something that’s gonna disappoint them. But, it’s better to do it sooner rather than later. I can be there too if you’d like.” He lightly squeezes her hand, and she looks back up at his face.

“Thanks Steven,” her voice is still flat, but he can see her attempt at a smile.

“...Want a distraction?”

“Yes, please.”

It’s getting late - the sky is dyed in hues of reds and oranges as the sun sets, the view visible through the deck door. Connie’s mom wants her back home in an hour and a half, which gives them a little more time to hang out before Steven plans to drive her back home.

Though, from the looks of things, Connie seems to be ready to go home sooner rather than later, as her focus has been fading steadily. Steven pushes himself up off the bed - they had shifted, both laying on their stomachs as they played a co-op game on his Gamestation - hitting the floor a little harder than usual. He offers a hand to Connie, who offers a weak smile before taking the help. 

When he pulls her up, he may put a little too much effort into it; Connie has more speed than expected, and she does her best to catch herself before the pair of them can go tumbling down the stairs. Steven, realizing his mistake, braces himself, and when her footing fails her, he’s there to catch her; she’s holding onto him like a lifeline. 

Even like this, with Steven at his full height and Connie _ not, _ she’s still the slightest bit taller than him.

She’s the first to start laughing, which lifts a weight Steven hadn’t realized had settled on his shoulders, and he couldn’t stop himself from joining in even if he had wanted to. His own arms wrap around her, sturdy, and he spins them around, letting the moment last as long as it can.

When they stop spinning, they realize they aren’t holding onto anyone anymore, their arms more or less just crossed in front of them. 

“Oh,” they say, before a smile breaks out on their face, “oh! Oops, didn’t mean to do that.” 

Stevonnie feels content though, letting out a happy sigh, glad to be back in existence, in a scenario where they can just. _ Be _. 

“Well, guess _I_ get to drive Connie home.” It’s still exciting - Connie doesn’t have a driver's licence, and that feels a bit rebellious, in a fun way. Though, realistically, Stevonnie doesn’t have one _ either _, but Steven does, so they think that counts for something, at least.

Before gathering up Connie’s stuff so they can head out, Stevonnie takes off Steven’s jacket - which was _ over _the jacket Connie had been wearing - a few too many layers to be comfortable. With the extra jacket tied around their waist (for Steven, after Connie’s dropped off), they make sure Connie’s things are in her bag. Though, if nothing else, Lion may be able to help return a lost item if they missed something.

They grab her backpack and swing it on their back, but when they move to slip their left arm through the loop there’s an odd tugging sensation along their forearm, and when they twist their arm to investigate, the pulling turns into prickling pain.

“What the…” they knit their brows together, trying to figure out what’s going on - subconsciously, they already _ know _but they’re unable to put it all together - their component parts falling out of sync. They feel unstable, starting to glow slightly. “What’s-”

Steven and Connie hit the floor, the backpack between them, and Steven rubs at his head.

“Connie? What was that?”

“It’s nothing,” she says entirely too fast.

“Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine!”

“Connie,” Steven says, before pausing, waiting for her to look up at him. He shifts to his knees, hands held in front of him, palms up, “If you’re hurt, I can help. I can heal you.” Her gaze falls back to her bag, and he pushes on. “Let me help?”

She’s silent for a bit, and his stomach is uneasy as he waits. “Okay. Just. Don’t look, please. Or ask questions.”

That does little to ease his nerves. That means she _ is _ hurt, but she’s _ also _ willing to let him help her, so he nods. He unties the jacket from his waist, and ties it around his head instead, sleeves covering his eyes in a show of compliance. He holds out a hand, resting it atop her bag. 

“Let me help,” he says again, trying to prompt her. He hears her sigh, then there’s the rustling of fabric - he assumes she’s taking her jacket off. There’s a pause after the jacket is - presumably - dropped onto the floor, before he feels something warm rest against his hand.

“Okay,” is all she says, and Steven doesn’t hesitate to lean down and kiss the arm in front of him, feeling rough injuries - plural - against his lips for just a moment before the skin begins to soften. He lifts his face back up, feeling a blush on his face but steadfastly ignoring it for the more important issue at hand. 

Her arm is no longer in his hand, and he moves to remove his blindfold. 

“Wait!” He pauses, and hears her pick her jacket back up. “Okay, now.”

When his vision is no longer obscured, she’s already got her jacket back on, reaching for her backpack.

He wants to ask - she’s so jumpy, secretive, so unlike herself - but he said he wouldn’t. So he forces the questions to the back of his mind as stands, offers his hand once more to her and, hesitantly, she takes it. 

She’s not meeting his gaze, and that leaves his heart aching, pleading for answers he can’t get. Not right now, anyways.

“C’mon, we’d better get you home,” he smiles her way, even though she isn’t looking in his direction to catch it.

“Okay,” she practically whispers. Then, almost as an afterthought, “thanks.”

The way it’s said - soft, low, almost reluctant - just makes the tightness in his chest worsen.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm [whentvsfly](https://whentvsfly.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr if you wanna say hi, or talk about Steven Universe with me!


End file.
